It has been a while, a week to be precise, me living in the other side of the world. As I wish, as I imagine since my childhood. And now the it all comes to a reality. A reality that I have a mix feeling over it, over and over again. At one point, I just don't know what to expect, I reduced myself into a clueless John Doe amid hundreds of loud freshers and I am a recluse.
I have put a high expectation of doing this and that in a very short while once coming to this place. And I fail to reach that. But after all, I should give myself some times, just some more times to get things in the right places. I shall not feel suicidal of attending my first ever med school lecture unprepared, though all the craps the lecturers said were just some basic introduction on Physiology and Molecular in Medicine. I shall not cast my judgments on myself and predict the rest of the years of studying at med school based on this shitty weeks. I shall just be laid back as what I promised myself. ("but it's med school for God sake!" feels like the heart is thumping with that)
But I learnt. I realized. A few things that I wouldn't be learning if I ever to stay in my comfort zone. I met people. New personalities. Talking about feeling and emotion, check. I'm better in controlling that. Talking about what's the next couple of years might bring to me, I don't know, no inkling, no nothing, nada.
Short term prediction, might end up be me, like back in college, KMB. Forever alone and comfortable that way. First year med student on his first day of lectures, yes I am.